i saw her standing there.

thought for life...the only way you will find the meaning of life is to give away your life to others in jesus' name. period.(imagine me standing in front of a mirror saying all this to myself because that's who i'm talking to.) 

"but it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made. 
What you have is all you'll ever get.and it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
your self will not satisfy you for long.

and it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
there's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.

there's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! your task is to be true, not popular.
to you who are ready for the truth, i say this: love your enemies. let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. when someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. if someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. if someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. no more tit-for-tat stuff. live generously.

here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! if you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? run-of-the-mill sinners do that. if you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? garden-variety sinners do that. if you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? the stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

i tell you, love your enemies. help and give without expecting a return. you'll never —i promise— regret it. live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. our Father is kind; you be kind.
don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults — unless, of course, you want the same treatment. don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. giving, not getting, is the way. generosity begets generosity."
he quoted a proverb: "'can a blind man guide a blind man?' wouldn't they both end up in the ditch? an apprentice doesn't lecture the master. 

the point is to be careful who you follow as your teacher. 

it's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. do you have the nerve to say, 'let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? it's this I-know-better-than-you mentality again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your own part. wipe that ugly sneer off your own face and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

this is from the luke 6 section of the message. i know the message is not holy scripture because it is a human man's interpretation of it but i know that if you live like above towards other humans, you will be living like jesus asked. 


ok, whoa. that touches some nerves. that's one of the hardest sections of scripture i read and i read it weekly to remind myself of these things. 


that doesn't make it easier to do. 


it's so against the ways of this world, against human nature but so necessary to be living a jesus-like life. it's not a choice if we should live this way or not but rather when to start. obviously the answer is: asap. 


i get so many chances to employ this type of jesus love and fail miserably on a daily basis. i'm praying for strength and sharing the struggles of my heart with you, not telling you what to do. 


however, i do know that if you're searching for the meaning of life, try these practices on for size and see if you don't get some clarification real fast. 


i am rich and well fed and warm and clothed and educated and ... only to have the opportunity to give it away. why would anyone care about the message of christ that i "preach" if i wasn't living a life like his and through living like him they were benefitting in some way. it's common sense.


some people have this so figured out and have completely given up their lives. unfortunately, i'm still stuck on this step and praying for the strength to get over it. the faster i give up my life the better. pray for me to have the strength to get over it because i feel that i might be hindering the gospel until i do. 


thank you for listening or not listening to my hopefully well-intentioned repetitive rant because in some weird way posting these things makes me feel more accountable to them. 


in love, lulu